Tis the season to be jolly – or so the song goes. This may be a challenge for some of us and I want to offer some suggestions to help ease holiday stress and anxiety.
The holiday season can be a time of connection with family, friends and loved ones that can provide us with feelings of well-being, love and laughter. It can also be a time of stress, anxiety, frustration and sadness or grief. There are many reasons for the variety of circumstances that can lift us up or weigh us down – sometimes during the same day!
While we can’t change the behavior of others, we can change how we interact with others and how we take care of our emotional and mental well-being during difficult moments. Many, if not all, of these tips can be used year-round so you have likely run across most of these at some point.
- Identify your own sources of stress. Some of the sources may be related to a specific individual or individuals while some sources may be due to environmental factors such as work, relationship, or health, among others. Unless you know what your triggers are, it will be difficult to be pro-active.
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Avoid, alter, adapt or accept the circumstances.
- Learn how to say no. We can easily take on too many tasks that may ultimately lead to resentment or frustration when the time comes.
- Avoid people who stress you out – if you can. This may be easier said than done if we are talking about family or loved ones. Avoidance can look like minimizing your contact, taking someone else to act as a buffer or ensuring that contact is within a large group scenario.
- Pare down your to-do list. During holidays, our to-do lists can be very full so see if you can delegate or remove items that are not necessary. Identify “wants” versus “needs” and that may help this process.
- Express your feelings and try not to bottle things up. Start small and what you are comfortable with expressing and know your audience.
- Compromise is not a dirty word. All relationships will require us to adjust our thoughts and opinions and all successful negotiations require some give and take. During this holiday season, it may take the form of negotiating where and when holiday gatherings take place.
- Find some balance between work and play.
- Learn how to reframe your experience, look at the big picture and adjust your standards.
- Focus on gratitude, however small or inconsequential it may seem.
- Don’t try to control others. You can only control yourself.
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Learn more about forgiveness. It is not about the other person; it is about letting go of the feelings and thoughts that keep you stuck in the past.
- Learn how to say no. We can easily take on too many tasks that may ultimately lead to resentment or frustration when the time comes.
- Engage in physical activity. Go for a walk either with a friend or your four-legged companion. Go to the gym. Take a yoga class. Dance. Go swimming. Even if you have physical limitations, there are many options out there to keep a person active.
- Connect with others. Family, friends, loved ones, coworkers, community events, support groups. I know this puts the onus on you and, if you struggle with depression or are grieving, isolation can feel very comfortable and easy but over time this can bring about its own set of problems. Please reach out. There are very likely others who are going through some of the same things. Check out my previous blogs here or here to get more information about grief and depression.
- Have fun. Relax. I hope this is self-explanatory!
- Practice time management. While this can be an issue any time, the holidays tend to be the time of year for a variety of events and year-end projects. Be sure to schedule in some time for yourself.
- Engage in a healthy lifestyle. Eat a healthy diet. Reduce caffeine and sugar intake. Avoid alcohol, cigarettes and other drugs. Sleep. I talk about these things with every client since each of these things can impact your overall state of physical, mental and emotional health.
- Mindfulness and grounding techniques. Mindfulness can be about focusing on your breath or may be a meditation or yoga routine. Please see my blog post about mindfulness here. Grounding can be done any time by focusing on your senses: 5 things you see; 4 things you feel; 3 things you hear; 2 things you smell; 1 thing you taste.
- Keep a gratitude journal. This is supported by neuroscience research. The more we focus on gratitude, the more resilient we become in how we deal with what life throws our way. The gratitude list doesn’t have to be ground-breaking or sexy. Some days it may be the random smile sent your way by the stranger you pass on the street or the fact that you have a warm bed to sleep in or that morning shower had just the right temperature and pressure.
- Accept help from others. This goes together with point #4 above. It is not only okay to ask for help but also to accept help. Use the concept of pay-it-forward if that makes you feel better. If you need support today, then support someone else later when you are feeling better.
These are just a few rather general tips that can get you started on your self-care journey. I always suggest putting the list somewhere accessible so that when things are at their most hectic, you have a list that you can look at to support yourself in the moment. It is my wish that you have a happy and healthy holiday season that is relatively stress-free.
If you find yourself in need of ongoing support with your mental and emotional well-being, please contact me at 778-242-1124 or deborah@mywiseself.com to schedule an appointment or a free 30-minute telephone consultation.